Thanks to Linda Dunkelberger for submitting this guest blog post to Florida Senior Living Advisor. She provided this post on behalf of Visiting Angels, a nationwide network of  senior home care providers that help seniors with everyday tasks, errands, meals, transportation, just to name a few services.  I think these tips are especially important to keep in mind during the holidays, when we are all busy with jam-packed “to-do lists,” in addition to whatever care we must provide to elderly family members.

Caring for aging parents or loved ones carries a lot of responsibility and a range of emotions.  No matter how much love in your heart, carrying the load of caring for your loved one will leave you drained physically, emotionally and possibly financially.  Coping with the stress of senior home care has to be managed or you will not be able to be an effective caregiver.

Managing the stress of senior home care is all about taking charge.  Take charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment and the way you deal with problems and unexpected situations.  The ultimate goal of coping with the stress of senior home care is to achieve a balanced life. 

How to reduce, prevent, and cope with the stress of senior home care:

• Senior home care requires organization – Organize your time and your schedule.  Write everything down so that you or another family member has reference to phone numbers, doctors, medications, in-home senior care providers, important insurance and financial numbers.
• Start a personal journal- Share your feelings about the stress of senior home care (either in hard copy or an online blog).  Writing down your thoughts will help you to take charge of your emotions. 
• Prioritize your health and well-being.   Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.  Healthy ways to relax and recharge:   
   *Go for a walk 
   *Call a good friend 
   *Sweat out the tension with a good workout 
   *Write in your journal 
   *Curl up with a good book 
   *Take a long bath 
   *Eat healthy and exercise regularly 
   *Play with your pet
   *Work in your garden 
   *Listen to music 
   *Savor a cup of warm coffee or tea
• Give yourself a break – Enlist the help of a professional senior home care provider. Senior home care providers such as Visiting Angels can provide daily or weekly help with everyday chores, errands, hygiene, meals or transportation needs, just to name a few.  Senior home care providers can also provide a respite to you with as little as 15 minute notice to avoid unnecessary stress if your schedule needs help.

Coping with the stress of senior home care is the only possible way to be an effective caregiver to your loved ones.  Your mental and physical health must take priority or you will not be able to manage what needs to be done.  Take advantage of these tips.  Organize yourself, express yourself, nurture yourself and help yourself by arranging for assistance with a senior home care provider.

We celebrated my father’s 85th birthday yesterday.

As I sat there watching him enjoy his dinner and laughing at the antics of his grandchildren, I couldn’t help but smile at how much he has mellowed with age. When I was younger, he was tough. Really tough. Opinionated. Obstinate. Prone to cynicism. As a teenager,  when I would ask for permission to go out with my friends, he would randomly say no. When I would ask why, his response would be, “Because I said so.” End of discussion.  Now I see a softer side to him; he laughs more, even cries occasionally (particularly when my daughters play the violin for him). And he’s definitely much easier on waitresses and other service personnel than he used to be.

So I had to wonder, is there any scientific proof to what I have experienced with him – that personalities can mellow with age. I came across this report from a few years ago from the Journal of Neuroscience. The study suggests that elderly people may be better at perceiving happiness and worse at perceiving fear, which researchers say supports the idea that people do mellow with age.
 
In the study, volunteers were asked to pick out the pictures showing fear and happiness from others showing anger, disgust and sadness. As they viewed these images their brain activity was monitored using functional magnetic  resonance imaging (fMRI). Results indicated that older people more accurately spot happy expressions while teenagers are better at identifying fearful expressions.

An anthropologist from Rutgers University explains that there may be an evolutionary advantage to mellowing with age. Helen Fisher says, “I don’t think it’s just about going to your grave feeling happier about life.” She says our hunter-gatherer ancestors may have benefited from the presence of happier elders with a calm approach to settling disputes within groups. “There would have been a tremendous advantage to have older people in the group with an optimistic view,” she adds.

All I know is that it makes my time with dear old Dad much more enjoyable. Happy Birthday Dad.